They say time heals everything, and I'm still waiting...

Let me go ahead and put it out there because it's as real as words are. I turned in my Delta Pi letters on sunday. I wouldn't have done it had I not been completely 100% positive that it was the right decision. For once in my life, my heart and my head were in absolute perfect sync. Strangely, what I'm left with (besides the Flu during exam week,) is this serenity, this indescribable relief. I know it was the right time because I've been considering it for the past year. A year is a long time to dwell on something and sometimes you just have to let go of the kite string and see where the winds will take you. You might be surprised at what the overhead view will reveal to you. That is precisely where I'm at right now, hovering above, embracing my wind of change.

Life hurts like hell, we ALL know it does. Sometimes it's a subtle sting right below the surface and sometimes it's a hard slap to the face. But that pain, that's what wakes you up. One night you just wake up in the middle of the night screaming because the pain is searing. And that's when you realize that there are battles you fight alone. There are things other people can't help you through. There are demons that are your very own and you've got to face them down or you will NEVER grow up. Suddenly the dark isn't what you're afraid of, you're afraid of seeing things in the light. When you see things in the light, they're different. They're foreign and strange. They're almost alien. And you wish that you could push it all away and pretend they never existed. But then they grow. They morph into grotesque THINGS and that's when you realize you HAVE to do somethint to save yourself. You have to tackle the evils and keep the light on so that when you see them creeping back in, you can squash them.

That's what is happening. This was a necessary step in my life. This is the path I have chosen. I know though, that those I love are traveling on a path completely parallel with mine, fighting their own battles and slaying their own demons. That we all have in common. That's what keeps you from being alone.