Time has changed nothing at all, you're still the only one that feels like home...

Okay. This post is probably going to end up being a stream of consciousness. I haven't blogged in what seems like ages, so here goes.

Am I still 100% certain about my recent decisions. Yes. In fact, with every single passing day, I feel more confident. I can't believe I went so long feeling the way I did for an entire year. One sleepless year of constantly worrying what people on the periphery thought of me. Twelve months of sinking self-confidence. 365 days of doubt. Stress hives, shingles, infected tear ducts. Weight gain. Excessive gossip. Self-loathing... Why WOULD I miss all of that?

It's a cold gray day, and If you know me, then you know I find comfort in these days. It's because when the rays of the sun aren't evident, I have to reach to find the warmth and I welcome that challenge. Out my window I can see the tree that I have taken for granted while living in this apartment. I remember when I was moving in, my mom said, "It'll be neat to see the seasons change by that tree." My mom -- the most beautiful soul I have ever known, the one who looks at things from a perspective I wish I could. I hope that I possess her grace one of these days. I hope I am that kind of woman.

I've begun to box up things in my room and three boxes are filled with books. They are my security blanket and my refuge when I can't seem to handle what life is dishing out a particular moment. Who do I turn to when things get rough? Sylvia Plath, Whitman, Barbara Kingsolver, and yes... J.K. Rowling. More perspective on everything. Who couldn't stand some more perspective?

I have come to realize that I am in love with love. I may try to deny it and be cynical and sometimes too sarcastic, but I swear... I'm such a romantic.

Nap time. Then Sushi time. Then more job #2 search time.

Today was a good day.