fractions

i am twentyonepointfive years of
what have i missed?s
who am i now?s
where did you go?s

my being is evenly in fractions
onefourth my reflections
onefourth their misgivings
onehalf your memories

i am
around a bit
under occasionally
beside forever
behind eternally

i have two namesakes
one woman i know to be beauty and grace
one woman i only know from faded photos

i find myself
bored with myself
lost in my thoughts
fearful you'll flee

and then you do.

but my namesakes, my muse, and i
we manage to go on, defying
that doubt which defines me
that pulse that beats through me
that regreat that surges inside me

i refuse to let you define me
any longer
because soon, that which defines me
becomes your identifiable dna