Everytime I try to change my mind again, it gets me back to where I was.

Okay, six months of abstractions aside, I'm back for some cohesive words. My life, my thoughts, and my words have been unsortable since graduation. So much has gone on within the recent months to make me understand myself, FINALLY. It's exhilarating to find myself in a place in my life where I am at peace. It is beyond acceptance of reality, it is an appreciation for it.

I just turned twenty-two. After all the phone calls, text messages, singing voice mails, cards, dinner with the two absolute best friends... I am grateful beyond words. I have been given these great people whom I don't feel deserving up. They continuously support me through my angst, my constant chatter, and my fits of self-centeredness.

This fall feels different. I am ecstatic about going home for Thanksgiving. I don't know if I've been this excited to drive on the Interstate for hours. I will get to sleep in my comfortable home in my trafficless town. I will feel that crispness that only comes with Mountain Mid-Novembers. I will be among the people I love most. I will hold the niece I feel I have neglected in my lap and sing her silly songs and archive the sound of her giggles. I miss them. So much. More than I ever thought was possible. I miss couch time with Momma, senseless conversations with Daddy, and nostalgic storytime with Mawmaw. I miss the understanding that only comes from a big sister who has lived my same life ten years longer.

I'm well adjusted right now with the city I'm adjusting to and the new job I just acquired. Everyone's proud of me, they say. But, I'm more proud of them then they'll ever know.