Slow down you crazy child, take the phone of the hook and disappear for a while...

I wonder why we stretch ourselves transparently thin. Why do we think we have to tackle the world and all its problems in a single afternoon? Shouldn't it be enough that we can wake up with sun pouring through our blinds? Instead we complain that the beams are blinding and have woken us up. Maybe we really NEED a wake up call. I know I do.

Somewhere between the cell phone calls, gas pumping, schedule changes, post-it notes, e-mails, instant messages, grocery shopping, time cards, speed limits, chores, obligations... and bedtime, I have forgotten what real, satisfying, fullfilling LIFE is all about.

My boss told me on my first day of work that you should work to live, not live to work. Professor Haviland told us the other day that in France, people live and in America, people work. Where did we get this notion that we always have to keep on the go? The world WILL keep turning if we cross some things out of schedule books. We don't OWE other people anything, life karma doesn't work like that. I shouldn't do things just because I feel an obligation. I should do things because I genuinely want to and because I think it would improve the quality of mine or someone else's life.

I won't contract a life threatening illness because my bed's not made. I won't suffer through pains if I don't read an assignment for a class. I won't go to Hell if I don't change my oil when I've driven 3,000 miles. I will however, develop high blood pressure and heart disease with a recurrence of shingles if I don't SLOW DOWN and stop stressing out about everything in life. There's no way happines can impermeate through a life of self-inflicted misery, it just won't happen.

I should learn to let things go more quickly and to forgive more freely. I shouldn't be jealous because it makes me hurt. I shouldn't say the things I say when I know that if someone said them about me, my heart would absolutely break.

I wish that every single moment could be as perfect as the first time I felt sand between my toes. Or the first time I remember tasting ice cream. Or the first time I knew I was going to be okay in a town seperate from my parents. Or like tonight when I smelt the first spring rain of this year. Or like opening up the letter from my gramma about 10 minutes ago and there were random yogurt lids in it.

That's the thing... life IS that perfect. It is a sweet combination of inevitable events. It is loving FULLY and not holding back tears when they swell up in your eyes. It is not being ashamed at who you are or having regrets that hold you back from experience great adventures.

On another note, I'm going to Italy with 2 of my best friends on the day after Christmas. I'm going to see THE DAVID *gasp* and stand in the Colosseum, and walk the streets of Pompeii. I get to see the Uffizi and the Sistine Chapel Ceiling. OH and celebrate 2007 in ROOOOMMMMEEEEEEE! Woooow. But, I'm not excited or anything ;)